Here I sit attempting my first blog post and I think to myself… what the hell am getting  into? Do people really care what I have to say? Do they want to know my deepest thoughts? My most personal details? My life story? Hell yeah you do!!! I  believe most people has a common misconception about the person I am…I come across as a stern, straightforward person that many would consider an asshole at first glance. Well… I’d love saying those people are TOTALLY wrong… but how do I do that? By writing a fucking kick ass blog of course!

BUT, First things first… let me catch you up to speed on MY life as it is now and the real reason I chose to write this haberdash…

<Insert overly dramatic cinematic introduction music>

I’m single… I know what you’re thinking… single guy makes blog to vanquish in his conquests and make himself sound like gods gift to man (and women). I wish I could say I were gods gift to man… (and women). But sadly I’m just your typical NEWLY single male. BUT with a twist. I’m not 6 month relationship gone bad, newly single. I’m more like…  haven’t been with another woman besides two girlfriends in 7 years, newly single, SINGLE. I was in a relationship so long I forgot how to flirt with another woman. I literally trained myself to not talk to other women… WHY, I DO NOT KNOW!

But, I did.

So the past 2 months have been a little awkward, uncomfortable, uneasy, slightly depressing and well… awkward. The only thing I could do is move on… but that is difficult for anyone to do when you were so engaged in a relationship. <—I now get this whole “engagement” bs, but I digress…. So how does one move on from a relationship? Well lets whip out our handy stages of grief manual shall we?!?!

Stage 1: Denial and isolation…

Tear-eyed days and lonely nights after I left my university and friends to come home to WORK, WORK, WORK with annoying, needy parents with no one to understand my situation… Stage 1: CHECK!

Stage 2: Anger

Was I pissed this bitch took my car up to the cities, meets up with a guy that I introduced her to,makes him dinner and then proceeds to fuck him? A little bit. Was I upset when she denied ever sleeping with anyone else? Kinda. Was I hell bent on ending an innocent puppy’s life when I found out that our relationship has “practically been over for a month and I already have a new boyfriend,”? I guess after all it was only 4 years. Did I feel batshit crazy mad when she took my $1000 dollar tv and moved to LA to live with a male stripper? OH NO NOT AT ALL… smh. FUCK YOU STAGE 2: check!

Stage 3: Bargaining

I offered to change my lifestyle, become a different person, do things differently, be respectful, be honest, be truthful. Be everything I wish I could be. I tried to do everything in my will power to remain in a relationship I thought was the one for me. Stage 3 doesn’t work: CHECK!

Stage 4: Depression

Do I think I wasn’t good enough? No, I was the better person… I know that for a fact. But to live with your significant other, be convinced of marriage, share everything and not get happiness out of it. You bet I was a sad kid. But I eventually with self medication and help from family/friends I have conquered the depression and the sadness is no longer here.                        Stage 4: CHECK!

Which leads me to the fifth and final Stage…

Stage 5: Acceptance.

I cant just accept being single. I’m not the type of person to open my arms and embrace all there is to love about being a single man. I grew up an only child, being alone is something I’m quite used to. The strange thing is… the ONE thing that I wanted MOST in the 7 years and two relationships was to be alone.

Waffle at that irony.

It’s true that I can’t accept being single. There is something about the way I was raised that tells me… GO FIND SOMEONE! My closest friends I consider brothers, I am obsessed with social media, I am on my phone 24/7, am outgoing, hosted hundreds of parties in high school, love people watching and am studying public relations and sociology… PEOPLE STUDIES! I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love other people more than myself. I was so engulfed in a relationship I forgot to cover my own back… and here I am.

I am writing this blog for you. I want people to engage in my life, see what goes on and find out more about the REAL me. I will leave no rock unturned and will give every detail along this journey. I don’t know where it will take me (past or present) where it will stop or, actually, where it will even start… Stage 5: IN PROGRESS.

FLY WITH THE GOOSE: Live, Love, Laugh and Learn.